What a wonderful weekend...

Last weekend was one of my favorite Memorial Day weekends ever. Saturday morning
I ran a 5k and way exceeded my expectations, so that felt amazing! Then Bob's mom, brother, sister-in-law and their 2 kids came to visit. It was so relaxing and enjoyable. The kids played at the beach and went for walks...we grilled and ate out on the porch... the weather was perfect. Gibson was entertained practically the whole weekend.... We had a bonfire... I made playdough for the kids monday morning because the weather wasn't as nice. We played games. Ahh... it was just so relaxing and refreshing. I made up most of the food ahead of time which was fabulous because it made the rest of the weekend super easy and stress free. Pictures to come.

...That's what I get for wearing makeup

Ran to target yesterday morning early before my Y class because I desperately needed new workout pants. Seriously, I have one pair that I bought right after I graduated from college that have a few little holes and several bleach stains. The catalyst to finally go out and buy the pants was that I needed to do laundry. Anyways, checked the clearance rack, as I always do when I'm there and I found a really cute shirt for $4.48! Yeah! I'll take that and the so-so black fitness pants that were 30% off. (As opposed to the fabulous $20 ones that never go on sale).

Had a great workout, stopped at the health food store to get some raw cashews and dried fruit, showered while Gibson was napping (score), put on my new shirt and make up and left for piano lessons. I was feeling good.

Gibson played great at my lessons. Toward the beginning of lesson #4 I heard a noise like he was choking, so I looked and....

he was vomitting all over. His incredible precision landed the up-chuck right on the edge of the only rug in a whole house of wood floors. I scooped him up right away and he proceeded to vomit... at least4-5 more heaves all over himself and me as I was trying to keep more puke from getting on these people's floor.

"EW!!!! This is disgusting. Hold it together. You've got to hold it together," I thought every few minutes as I was cleaning it all up. I managed to get through the ordeal without getting sick myself, but ... that's what I get for wearing makeup!

I hate showering

I really really hate showering. It's such a pain. I so wish I could just stay clean. It wouldn't be so bad if if didn't require so much time! Oh no! I forgot to tape the Dr's episode on home birth yesterday. Shoot... maybe it'll replay this summer. Anyways, I know I should go bathe myself. Ugh!

More on God's Powerful Word

… Wow. God is continuing to burn this message into me, it seems, at every turn. The words we speak are POWERFUL. In fact, according to scripture, they hold the power of life and death. That’s one of the easiest verses to merely interpret figuratively, diminishing the authority of its absolute truth. (There are certain power packed verses, I think most of us glance over, thinking “Oh… that’s nice”).

Tonight I was reading a book entitled Heaven by Randy Acorn. On page 12 he uses such a poignant example from C.S. Lewis’s The Silver Chair that it makes my skin crawl. He sets it up this way:
…Puddgleglum, Jill and Eustace are captured in a sunless underground world by an evil witch who calls herself the queen of the underworld. The witch claims that her prisoners’ memories of the overworld, Narnia are but figments of their imagination. She laughs condescendingly at their child’s game of “pretending” that there’s a world and a great ruler of that world…

She says to them hypnotically, “There never was any world but mine,” and they repeat after her, abandoning reason, parroting her deceptions. Then she coos softly, “There is no Narnia, no Overworld, no sky, no sun, no Aslan…”

I find it easy to put myself in the shoes of the captives, as many times I have succumbed to similar prisons spiritually. I think about the power of those words to abolish hope, which renders me ineffective, depressed and - without intervention - dead.

In The Silver Chair, it is not until Puddleglum begins to speak (not think) words of encouragement, life, hope and truth that the witch’s spell is broken and Rilian the king of Narnia comes to slay her.

C.S. Lewis was an allegorical master at depicting our spiritual lives. It is the exact same way for us. The Word is our Sword. The Word is living and active sharper than any double-edged sword, in fact (Heb 4:12).

I feel a little cooky saying “speak The Word,” but it’s not cooky; it’s Biblical. I’ve been sitting on my most powerful weapon for 17 years! It’s not a magical antidote, but the Word of God does hold power that we can’t even fathom.

I have been reading Proverbs almost everyday for a couple months. (Oh the wisdom I desire to imbibe). I don’t have a count off hand, but there are sooo many verses talking about the power of words, the wisdom in holding your tongue, how pleasant words are like honey... James 3 talks about the power of our tongue. In Mt. 12:36 , Jesus says we will be judged for every idle word. And what’s up with all of the blessings and curses spoken with words in the O.T.? Right? Something to them?

All of these things make me have such a reverence for what comes out of our mouths. I’m almost afraid to speak anything because I know all too well my natural propensity to say stupid or hurtful or meaningless words. But my prayer is that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart would be pleasing in God’s sight (PS 19:14) and that no unwholesome talk would come out of my mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it might benefit those who listen (Eph 4:29). A tall order. Thank God he doesn’t give up on us and that he loves us through the process.

Ba duh Buh and first signs of true singing

Surely you can translate... Bob the Builder!

That is Gibson's new obessesion. He points to the TV multiple times a day and asks for Ba duh buh. This morning he was pointing at the TV and singing "Ba duh buh duh. CA! DUH! CUH!" the Ba duh buh duh part was melodic and right on pitch while the CA! DUH! CUH! was forte and staccato. It was pretty sweet to hear him singing.

Sabbath, War and God's Powerful Word

My Jr. Year of college I took a class on the book of Hebrews as one of my Bible electives. Chapters 3 & 4 of this book talk about God's Sabbath Rest. I questioned what that meant as I took that class. Ok... great... heaven will be a rest... but I kept thinking there was more to it than than... why over and over in those couple of chapters does it continually talk about entering God's rest?

I didn't think much more of it until I wasn't a carefree college student anymore. It has become increasingly apparent to me that I am in a war. I have known for most of my life that we are in a spiritual battle, but I feel it now. So, if I am in a war, what does that make me? A warrior. Like it or not (and I don't like it very much...the word warrior just doesn't exactly conjure up ideas of femininity, class or anything pink...), if I'm in a war, a warrior I am. However, I'm not a very good one right now. Weak, broken, with an incomprehensible amount to learn, my vision has been blurred and my purpose muddied.

I read a line in my Beth Moore Bible Study on Esther today that really hit home.

"Some of us with little previous battle experience have no idea why God is allowing us to go through such difficult times in a place we thought was His will. He's trying to make warriors out of us (188)."

The difficult circumstances of the last couple of years have definitely created desperation in my life. This desperation has lead me back to the Word and God has enlightened it in brand new ways. For example, I've always known that we're to "put on the full armor of God" and that the Sword of the Spirit- our offensive weapon - is the Word of God (Eph 6). However, how many times have I taken that out of the figurative/spiritual/bible-y realm and utilized it? Mmm... in 17 years of being a Christian... 2 times now. And they have been in the last few months, which have been some of the hardest of my life. The quote above is so true.

Let me tell you what has happened when I have read or quoted the living and active Word of God that is sharper than any double edged sword that penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit.... (Heb 4:12)

1. Speaking the words outloud helped my spirit to ingest them in a different way than reading in my head. Faith began to arise in me and the more faith arose, the more scriptures I thought of, the more encouraged I became, the more grateful I was and confident I was that the words He speaks are truth. (Faith does come by hearing the Word of God)

2. The first of these times, I cried out to God with desperation and determination, saying things like God, I know that in all things you work to the good of those who love you and are called according to your purpose Rm 8:28 I know that you are making streams in the desert IS 44:3, that I can count it all joy when facing trials of various kinds because I know that the testing of my faith develops perserverance and perserverance must finish it's work so that I may be mature and complete not lacking anything (Jm 1), and I know that even though I can't see it, you are working here because you will never leave or forsake me, etc.) That very day I saw a breakthrough in a situation that was hard and seemingly impossible.

I listened to a Joyce Meyer CD a while back on the power of the tongue... she talked about how angels are sent to minister to the heirs of salvation (Heb1:14) and how angels obey the word of God (the reference was a scripture in Psalms that I can't remember right now). Putting those two scriptures together she talked about how when we speak the word of God, angels are released to do what his Word says. She said it much better than that, but it does seem to fall in line with the fact that the Word of God is our spiritual sword. So I decided to try it. Is their any harm in speaking God's Word aloud? It can only help right? And it did and it does and it will.

Anyways, after 17 years I think I am sort of in some way beginning to get it. We aren't just to read the Bible everyday, or just apply it to our lives (both of those things of course are so important), but we can and should actively use the Word of God as our sword.

Hopefully this isn't a revelation to anyone who might be reading this... but I wanted to share this because I think more of us probably do need to take up our swords and train as warriors. Maybe God will even let my spiritual sword be pink:).

Oh yeah and back to the Sabbath Rest... anyhow... after life hit, and I truly realized I would battle in some way til the day I die, I got real excited about the Sabbath rest God offers. "Let us therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience." Heb 4:11

Quick Summary of My Trip HOME

It's always bittersweet to go home... in that I have to leave again. The older Gibson gets the more it rips me up that he isn't growing up close to his family. He has so much fun with his uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, great-grandparents... I cry... and cry. BUT let's talk about the happy time that we had!! God's blessing was all over our trip...

1. First of all, Gibson was an AMAZING trooper in the car. He cried for about 20 minutes when we left early Thursday morning, but that was it... the entire 28 hours in the car! We stayed in Chicago with my Aunt Thurs night. The next day we woke up just in time to throw our stuff in the car and beat Chicago traffic. BUT we did beat it... just barely:).

2. We were able to squeeze in seeing the people on my list for this trip without it getting too hectic. We spent lots of time with my dad, brothers and grandparents. My sister was in town for about a day and half. We spent the afternoon and evening with my aunt, uncle and cousins. Gibson and my first cousin Luke are about 10 months apart. It was fun to watch them play. I got to see my other aunt for just a brief bit, but I was able to meet my cousin's husband and beautiful baby girl! I saw my best friend from Jr. High and her two boys, that I haven't seen in 10 years. It was so fun to reconnect with her. I had lunch with my long-time forever friend, Charray.

3. Bonus people... I always get bummed out that I never run into anyone that I used to know because I don't live where I grew up. This trip I separately ran into 1 guy and 2 girls I went to youth group with that I haven't seen in about 15 years... One of which was one of my best friends in Jr. High. I also ran into my music teacher from elementary school (it had been 18 years since I had seen her). It was fun to see her and tell her I majored in music, etc. I also got to see my cousin in Chicago who happened to be home from college that night.

4. Bonus events... Gibson and I got to go to one of my Aunt's homeschool pre-school classes. She has a business that does homeschool pre-school for 18 mo- 4 years. That was fun and really special to be able to do. AND my brother had a choir concert while I was home, so ... I got to go to my brother's event, which was awesome because I HATE having to miss things like that and it was fun that it was a choir event since that's what I studied in school.

5. Eats... I got my Slim Jim at Big Boy (it was even on special) and I had a cup of my cream of broccoli soup. Only Big Boy's sells just plain cream of broccoli... everyone else adds cheese... why? I got lots of Grandma's good cooking... pretzel jello salad, red velvet cake, cheesy potatoes, spaghetti, spinach salad, mmm... mmm... mmm. And Cheryl's FRANGO mints and bread pudding and brownies...

6. Other... I got in a couple of games of Euchre, played lots of bananagrams, got trapped inside Lakeside Mall... seriously, I was starting to panic. I couldn't find the exit I came in. I forgot what it's like to actually have to pay attn. to where you are when you are in a "big city", driving 80 mph and being completely with the flow of traffic... I got passed in the right lane by someone doing at least 90 mph, I looked over to see and it was this 75 yr old couple... Only in MI:))

7. Special things... I got to see my little boy playing in my driveway. It was so wierd... it was one thing to go home with a baby, but with a boy who was walking around was entirely different....it was this crazy circle of life type thing. I also felt that way when I drove by the water tower that I remember driving by with my mom when I was little. That water tower was the coolest thing in my world because it was so big. Well, almost. The Silverdome was cooler because it looked like puffy white clouds just waiting to be jumped on. We also drove by that together. It was really special to be driving by those things with my son in the back seat.

8. But mostly... Watching my boy laugh with and love on his family. Experiencing the comfort and peace of being known, being unconditionally loved, accepted, in complete trust of those I was with, being completely myself, totally supported, surrounded, feeling like -even for only 5 days - like I wasn't doing this thing alone. Home... there's no where like it. Actually it's not so much home... although I do love driving fast and eating slim jims... it's FAMILY. There's noone ever like my family... and I am so blessed because I not only love my family, but I like them... they are so interesting and fun to be around... just quality people, all. I don't understand why I have to live away from them. It doesn't seem fair or right to only experience these things a hand full of times a year. But the Lord knows the desires of my heart. And he knows what is best for me. And I trust that, even when I don't understand it. "Again, I must submit w/o protest, to whatever the Lord has laid out for my life" (Queen Esther~"The Desires of Your Heart").

I am so grateful He allowed me to go home for a bit and that his hand was on every aspect of my journey.